Messing with Franky
by Freida5
Summary: Chopper tells Ussop that Franky's personality changes when he uses different drinks for fuel and Ussop wants to experiment. But how will Franky take their tom-foolery?


"Huh? No way! You can't be serious."

"It's true! I saw it with my own eyes when he was fighting! You remember the 'Chapapa' guy?"

"Hmm, can't say that I do..."

Ussop and Chopper were sitting in the Thousand Sunny's crow's nest. They had ousted Zoro because it was slightly drizzly and they both wanted to stay somewhere dry to work with their kits (after the whole stink bomb fiasco they weren't allowed to use their various chemicals anywhere below deck). Chopper looked up thoughtfully "Oh that's right, you weren't with us when we went to go save Robin weren't you?"

Ussop waved his hand "Ah, Soge King is one of my best friends, so he told me everything that happened there. But he didn't mention anything about Franky."

"He asked me for Cola, and I gave him some other drinks by mistake." Chopper jumped to his feet. He mimed a strange curvy shape above his hat "I gave him some kind of juice, and his head turned into a pineapple!"

Ussop guffawed as Chopper continued "And then I gave him tea, and he turned into a farmer! And he started talking about fields and stuff."

"Oh man, that's too good." Ussop said whipping his eyes. A light bulb went over his head as he leaned in towards Chopper "Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Sanji's got all kinds of drinks in the fridge right? Why don't we do a little experiment?"

Chopper held a hoof up to his face worriedly "I don't know Ussop, he seemed kinda mad when I gave him other drinks by mistake…"

"Oh that was probably because he was in the middle of a fight. C'mon, he's a cool guy! He won't care."

"Well… if you say so."

"Awesome! Alright, let's pack up and raid the fridge. Trust me Chopper, this is going to be great!"  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chopper and Ussop stood beside the doorway to the engine room of the ship. In their arms and beside them on the floor were at least twenty cola bottles filled with different colored liquids. They waited impatiently as Franky puttered around the room refilling barrels, shifting machinery, and fine tuning the engine. They were watching his hair carefully as his cowlick of a 'do became limper and limper as he did heavy lifting and hard work. Finally he set aside his tools and leaned back, taking a rag from a nearby table and wiping his forehead with it "I've done a Super job! Break time!" he said, stretching and yawning widely.

"Ah Franky! It looks like you need some refreshment!" Ussop said walking casually in. He held up a bottle of dark brown liquid. "Wanna drink?"

"Huh? Oh hey there!" he held up a hand and Ussop threw it to him "Thanks for the Cola!"

Chopper, who slid into the room, held up a hoof to hide his smile as Franky opened up his chest. Ussop was suddenly distracted by Franky's fueling ports "Huh, that's a pretty streamline design." he said, imagining the tube leading all throughout his arms and legs. He was suddenly struck by a horrible idea "Oh, can you burn any type of fuel in your system? You're not lactose intolerant or anything?"

Franky laughed "Lactose intolerant? Hah, that's a great one! I'm the best mechanic in the Grand Line!" he thumped himself on the chest with a hollow metallic boom "This body can run on anything! Although there can be some strange side effects."

Chopper bit his lip to keep from busting out laughing. Ussop nudged him, also trying not to snicker as the unsuspecting Franky put the bottle in his system. His hair stirred, shifted, and the cowlick moved to cover one of his eyes. He slumped over and leaned his head on his hand "Sigh, I don't even know why I bother. This stuff is just gonna break again." he said, sounding sullen. "My life is nothing but empty pit of pointless turmoil."

Both of them doubled over in silent laughter as he pulled out his guitar and started to strum a little ditty about endless pain "Oh god, this is too good to be true!" Ussop whispered, "Quick, what did I give him?"

"Some kind of weird coffee" Chopper said "It's my turn now, give him this!" Chopper held up a bottle full of clear fizzy liquid.

"Here, I think I mixed up your drinks Franky. Take this one instead." Ussop said.

He handed it to him and Franky quickly switched them "Thanks guys, I was feeling kinda weird… there…" he began, but his hair was stirring again. It flipped backwards, making his hair appear short in the front but much longer in the back. "Hoo-ra, I'm feeling fired up!" he roared in an extremely bizarre accent. Franky slung an arm around Ussop's shoulder "Which one of you low down horn dogs been done givin' me the wrong hooch?"

"What?" Ussop said grinning "Franky, I can't understand a word you're saying!"

"I'm a-saying I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof boy howdy!"

"Chopper what the heck was in that thing!" Ussop sputtered, his lips clamped tightly together to keep from losing it completely.

"It was something called 'moonshine', it sounded like something fancy!" Chopper replied, who was pulling his hat down over his face, grinning widely.

"Moonshine? Now that's meaner than my grandma's chili, ya gosh darned horny toads!" Franky said, starting to scowl.

"O.K., O.K., I think this might be the right one!" Ussop said, handing him a red bottle.

Franky switched out the moonshine and put it in. "Very funny you guys, but you shouldn't-" he began, but once again his hair began to move. It suddenly became very frizzy and turned into an afro "Alright you two, I want to see you work up a sweat!" he said cheerfully, tying a nearby grease rag around his head like a sweatband. He put his hands on his hips "alright, twenty sets of fist pumps! And one, and two, let's see some enthusiasm ladies!" he began doing some kind of dance, thrusting his fists up into the air and counting out loud.

At this point Chopper and Ussop had completely lost control and were rolling around on the ground laughing. "That health juice made him crazy! More, more!" Chopper called.

"Aw, I think we had our fun." Ussop held up a real bottle of cola "Alright Franky, here's the cola-" Franky snatched the bottle from his hand and threw the health juice to the ground where it shattered.

Ussop and Chopper instantly stopped laughing as Franky's hair slowly turned back to normal. He didn't say anything, just stared down at them, his face covered in shadow. The two gulped as he came closer and hunkered down so they were on eye level. "What's _wrong_ with you guys?" he said, holding up an unused bottle that had the label 'ketchup' scrawled on the back.

"Ah, um, well-" Ussop stuttered "It was a little experiment! We didn't think-"

"That's right, you obviously didn't." Franky said, not a trace of laughter in his voice. He stared at them for a moment longer before getting up abruptly and turning his back on them. He slammed his fist against the wall beside him, causing the other two to jump "I think you need to get out of here." Franky said deadpan.

"Y-Y-Yes sir!" Ussop squeaked and he carried chopper under his arm as he raced out of the workshop, tripping over the bottles of random liquids before he got the ground under his feet. Once he was out of the room he didn't stop until they were safely in the crow's nest again.

They remained silent as they heard the rain drum steadily louder against the roof. "I don't understand…" Chopper said sadly "Why would he be so upset?"

Ussop looked out at the rain "I dunno Chopper, but I think we may have made a big mistake."

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It was a very tense dinner, with Ussop and Chopper on the edge of their seats and jumping whenever anyone talked to them. Franky on the other hand was pretty cheerful, chatting to Luffy about the ship and complimenting Sanji's 'Super!' cooking. At the end of the meal Nami turned to Ussop "Hey, what's bothering you? You've been antsy all afternoon. You didn't punch a hole through the bedroom wall again, did you?"

"That was an accident!" Ussop said injured "I just added a little too much black powder to my Hanibi shot."

Franky pushed his chair back and stood "ah, I'm stuffed. I think I'll go double check my repairs before I turn in." He said, leaving the mess hall quickly.

Chopper got up and walked a few hesitant steps forward before stopping. Nami looked suspiciously between the door, Ussop and Chopper. "Did something happen between you three?" she asked.

"No, no, nothing at all!" Ussop said too quickly. He stood and shouted "Thanks-for-the-meal-it-was-great!" over his shoulder before grabbing Chopper by the hoof and hightailing it out to the deck.

It was really pouring now. Chopper had to yell to make himself heard over the wind "We have to go apologize to him!" he said, one hand holding onto his hat to keep it from blowing away.

"Yeah, but what if he's still really mad at us." Ussop whined.

"That's why we need to apologize!"

"But he could lose his temper and take a swing at us!"

Chopper glared up at him "He may be mad at us, but he's our Nakama! He wouldn't do that!"

Ussop wilted under Choppers gaze for a moment. Then he gritted his teeth before shouting "Alright, I get it! Let's go say we're sorry."

Chopper nodded and they made their way to the engine room. "Sh-should we knock?" Ussop quivered.

"He couldn't hear us over the rain." Chopper said sensibly. He reached up and opened the door, and pushed Ussop inside before he could get any second ideas.

They stood there, soaked to the bone from the rain and making a puddle on the floor as they waited nervously. Franky had his back to them, bent over his drawing table as he designed some new machine. He didn't seem to notice them as he continued to sketch.

They looked at each other and Ussop held up his fist. A quick game of rock paper scissors later Ussop cursed silently, then stepped forward. "Um, Franky?"

Franky stopped drawing, but didn't put his pen down "Yeah?"

He rubbed his head sheepishly "Um, I'm really sorry for messing with your cola. I didn't know you'd be so angry about it."

"I'm sorry too!" Chopper wailed "It was kinda funny when it happened at Enis Lobby. We didn't think it would upset you!"

Franky sighed deeply and spun on his stool, turning to face them. He pushed his glasses up with his thumb and fixed them with a stern gaze "You guys thought it was funny, huh?" Chopper squeaked and hid behind Ussop. "Well, forget funny, it's absolutely hilarious!"

"Huh?"

"It's like front row tickets to a sideshow! Come right up and see the many faces of Franky!" He placed on foot on the stool and struck a pose. "Any impression, any person, come one and all! I could sell tickets for this shtick, its great!"

Ussop and Chopper looked at each other, wide eyed and completely lost for words. Fanky sat back down on the stool heavily "O.K., I lost you guys. The point is I know it's cool to mess with my system. If I were you guys I might do it too. But for me, these changes are a little too much for me to deal with."

Franky grabbed a cola from the nearby minifridge and took a swig before continuing "It's just… I'm only really Fanky, the real Super Dude you see before you, when I have Cola in my system. When I have tea or coffee… I don't know who I am anymore. All I know is it's certainly not me."

He pushed his glasses to his forehead and gazed down at his soda "I guess I worry that if I get the wrong drink in my system I might never turn back into Franky. What if I put milk or something in there and suddenly think Cola is so disgusting I'll never drink it again? Would I still want to be a mechanic? Would I want to be your crewmate? Would I even remember the Franky I was before I became a cyborg?"

He remained silent for a moment, looking sadly down at his drink. Suddenly he blinked and looked back up at Ussop and Chopper "whoa, I really just dumped on you guys, huh?" He grinned and slid the glasses back down over his eyes. "Just forget what I said. I think that espresso you gave me had some lingering effects-"

He was cut off as Chopper and Ussop both gripped his shoulder "Franky, we're really sorry." Chopper said earnestly. "We won't do it again"

"Yeah, and we've got your back." Ussop said, tightening his grip "If you ever change, we'll make sure you get cola back in your system, no matter what."

Franky's mouth gaped for a second before he sniffed, a few tears leaking out from his glasses. "Thanks you guys. That means a lot to me." he said, patting their hands.

"Yeah, that's what Nakama are for!" Chopper said standing back and raising his hoof "Forcing soda down your throat until you remember who you really are!"

Both Ussop and Franky exchanged looks before bursting out laughing "Sorry Chopper, you have no idea how weird that sounded!" Ussop snickered.

"Aw, I know what you meant, Tanuki!" Franky said, slapping a pouting Chopper on the back. "But what are we doing being so serious? A round of cola for everyone, and I'm open to any request!' he said pulling out his guitar.

"We can't drink without Bink's Sake!" Ussop said, popping open his pop.

"Ha, I know the dance! Where are my chop sticks?" Chopper said, finally finding his spare set of sticks and jamming them up his nose.

"Ow, now this is a party! A one two, one two three four!" He started playing his guitar as Ussop roared the lyrics and chopper started to bop around with his ridiculous chopstick face. Even the pounding rain couldn't drown the laughter and music as they partied long into the night.


End file.
